You swore you wouldn’t check your phone, and then—boom—your ex texts you out of nowhere. Whether it’s a casual “Hey, how have you been?” or something more cryptic like “I miss you,” that one message can throw you right back into an emotional whirlwind.
So, what should you do when your ex texts you after no contact? Should you reply? Ignore it? Decode their intentions like a detective? Let’s break it down so you don’t end up making a mistake you’ll regret.
Why Your Ex Is Reaching Out
Before you even think about responding, it’s important to understand why they’re texting you in the first place. There are a few possible reasons:
🔹 They Miss the Comfort – Not necessarily you, but the familiarity of having you around.
🔹 They’re Feeling Lonely – Maybe their rebound didn’t work out, or they’re struggling with the silence.
🔹 Guilt or Regret – If they ended things, they might be checking in to ease their own guilt.
🔹 They Want to Keep You as an Option – Not because they truly want to get back together, but because they like knowing you’re still there.
🔹 Genuine Feelings – In rare cases, an ex may have reflected on the relationship and genuinely wants to reconnect in a meaningful way.
No matter the reason, the real question is: Does their message change anything for you?
Should You Reply to Your Ex?
This depends on one thing—your healing process. If you’re still struggling to let go, their message could be a major setback. But if you’ve moved on and are indifferent, responding might not be a big deal.
When NOT to Reply:
❌ You’re still emotionally attached and hoping for a reconciliation.
❌ Their message is vague, breadcrumb-y, or just “Hey.”
❌ They hurt you deeply, and responding might reopen old wounds.
❌ They only reach out when they’re lonely or bored.
When You CAN Reply:
✅ You’re completely over them and don’t mind casual small talk.
✅ They genuinely apologize and take accountability for past mistakes.
✅ There’s unfinished business (shared finances, belongings, etc.).
✅ You ended on neutral terms and have no lingering feelings.
If you’re unsure, ask yourself: Will responding help me move forward, or will it pull me back into a cycle I’ve worked hard to escape?
How to Respond (If You Choose To)
If you decide to reply, keep it short, clear, and neutral. Here are a few response ideas:
💬 If they send a casual “Hey, how have you been?”
➡️ “Hey, hope you’re doing well too. Take care.” (Short and polite.)
💬 If they text you late at night or when they’re drunk
➡️ No response is the best response.
💬 If they say they miss you, but you’re over it
➡️ “I appreciate you saying that, but I’ve moved on. Wishing you the best.”
💬 If they want to meet up, but you’re unsure
➡️ “I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. Hope you’re doing well.”
💬 If you still have unresolved feelings
➡️ Take a deep breath and think it through. Sometimes, the best response is silence while you figure out what’s best for YOU.
If Their Text Is Messing with Your Head…
Let’s be real—seeing your ex’s name pop up can stir up a lot of emotions, even if you thought you were over them. Before making any impulsive decisions, take a step back.
Instead of overanalyzing their message, focus on YOUR healing. Use the Let it Go app to track your No Contact progress, journal your thoughts, and get support from a community that truly understands what you’re going through.
Because at the end of the day, your ex’s text doesn’t define your healing. You do.
Your Peace > Their Text
You’ve worked hard to move forward—don’t let one message pull you back. Whether you choose to respond or not, make sure it’s on your terms. Protect your peace, honor your healing, and remember: You don’t owe anyone access to you anymore.
💚 Need help staying strong? Get support inside the Let it Go app and keep moving forward—one day at a time.
Let it Go 
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